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Growing Old

 
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Emmy
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Joined: 30 Jun 2006
Posts: 2460
Location: Scotland

PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 6:29 pm    Post subject: Growing Old Reply with quote

I thought I posted this yesterday and it seems I didnt post it after all.
Therefore I think the title is very apt!!
I received this from a friend the other day and thought I'd share it with you all.
Emmy
GROWING OLD???

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly
widow and asked,
'How old was your husband?'
'98,' she replied, 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded , 'Hardly worth going home, is it?

Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter
asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'

The nice thing about being senile is You can hide your own Easter eggs.

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes
I'm half blind,
Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
Take 40 different medications that
Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia ..
Have poor circulation;
Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 89 or 98.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
So I got my doctor's permission to
Join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour
But,
By the time I got my leotards on, The class was over.

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp
as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It's scary when you start making the same noises As your coffee maker.

These days about half the stuff In my shopping cart says,
' For fast relief.'
*
THE SENILITY PRAYER :* Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
The eyesight to tell the difference.

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Two wrongs never make a right.
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Gil
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 1532
Location: Connecticut, USA

PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 7:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It could be me in more than one of those jokes!

Silenced

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Gil
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goganga
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Joined: 27 Jun 2006
Posts: 3172
Location: Northern Italy

PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 5:54 pm    Post subject: Re: Growing Old Reply with quote

hysteric hysteric hysteric hysteric

Emmy wrote:
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp
as it used to be.

That seems me... Eh?
My brother has his office next to mine. Sometimes I go to him saying "Valerio, I have to tell you this", while I'm walking to his office, and then, after 5 seconds, I say... "I forgot what I had to tell you...." Anxious

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how I long to see the sun in a sky of perfect blue,
with the sunlight on my face, but there's nothing I can do...
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Di troppe cose non so cosa farne, per me che avrei bisogno di poche immagini ma eterne. (G. Gaber)
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Rosie B.
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Joined: 26 Jun 2006
Posts: 2573
Location: North Ridgeville. Ohio

PostPosted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 12:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just saw this so I guess, I'm an old fart as well................... bad air

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