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Is it cheating?
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Debra
Nearly my second home
Nearly my second home


Joined: 29 Jun 2006
Posts: 1219
Location: New Jersey

PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 4:46 am    Post subject: Is it cheating? Reply with quote

Saw Kate Hudson on the view a few weeks ago and the topic was if you husband/significant other has a crush, is it cheating? This was asked also of a few female guests who were promptly raked over the coals if they answered "no" by the host, Elizabeth Hasselbeck.
Some thoughts--one guest said her boyfriend admitted to having a crush on her friend. Truth be told , if my husband had a crush on one of my friends, I don't want to know about it. This female guest [from a soap opera] said it was just fine and dandy with her and it wasn't cheating.
I don't know if I'd consider it "emotional Cheating" or not. I know it would bother me.
It's different if he says he has a crush on Cindy Crawford [which he does!]--maybe because she isn't real to me--she's not my friend or my neighbor. But my friend??? I don't know.

Any thoughts? Think

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Carole B
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Joined: 27 Jun 2006
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Location: Valtellina - Northern Italy

PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 8:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think that a 'crush' is fine if the person they (husband OR wife) have the crush on is not accessible....someone like Cindy Crawford or as it was in my case Marlon Brando!!!!

The trouble and suspicion will always be there in the background when the target of the 'crush' IS accessible. The significant other half will always wonder if temptation will or has lead to indiscretions.

So for what it's worth my 2c says admire from afar ONLY!!!!
Angel

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marisa6
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 9:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yep - I agree with Carole on this one. I don't mind my husband lusting after some surgically enhanced 'tart' on TV - but I would NOT be happy if he fancied someone closer to home!!!!!!

I might just have to use that marital aid that is the electric carving knife on his genitals.......

Marisa Speak to the hand
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Carole B
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 9:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

marisa6 wrote:

.....I might just have to use that marital aid that is the electric carving knife on his genitals.......

Marisa Speak to the hand


Way to go girl.....Bobbit rules - OK!!!!


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marisa6
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 9:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah yes - Lorena Bobbit

My heroine!!!!!!!

Marisa Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
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tbech7430
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 9:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

From a man's point of view, I would agree with all of your answer's.

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marisa6
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 10:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Admit it - you are just frightened of the carving knife!!!!!

Marisa
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Debra
Nearly my second home
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 3:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

YOWCH Marisa! You go girl!! Very Happy Applause
OK- then we're all pretty much in agreement so far....good point Caorle--the temptaton would be there with the person that you have the crush on actually being there....

Ok, then how bout this?

Is flirting at work with a co-worker cheating?

Is going into a chat room and actually speaking to another person cheating?

Is anything short of the actual act itself cheating?

I'd be getting that electric carving knife out if I found My husband "Chatting"!

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Emmy
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 3:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi to all you ladies with the carving knives, surely you could find another alternative - have you never heard the saying :

'Cutting your nose off to spite your face!'

Laughing Laughing Laughing

Emmy

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Carole B
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 3:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I somehow don't think it was 'noses' they were thinking of 'cutting off'....

frizzy Big Devil

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Debra
Nearly my second home
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 3:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ahhh Emmy--but if I caught him, he wouldn't be needing it anymore!!

Dancing Not talking Not talking



Carole, I'm going to call you now, ok?

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Debra
Nearly my second home
Nearly my second home


Joined: 29 Jun 2006
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 7:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Emmy wrote:
Hi to all you ladies with the carving knives, surely you could find another alternative - have you never heard the saying :

'Cutting your nose off to spite your face!'

Laughing Laughing Laughing

Emmy



But I do see the horrible irony of it all Emmy!! Very Happy

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nuccia
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 7:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Carving Knives, huh? Do they have different speeds?

I'm a speed kind gal and I'd much prefer one of these I think..


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As for flirting with co-workers...healthy if I do it, not if he does it.

Chat Rooms..Forgitabouit!

But I do have afew good male friends and I chat with them occasionally or email sometimes. I just don't flaunt it in front of the hubby,,(only so it can't be used against me when he's in one of "his moods"). Dancing Dancing

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Debra
Nearly my second home
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Joined: 29 Jun 2006
Posts: 1219
Location: New Jersey

PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 7:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow--liken that knife Nuccia!! Dancing
I thuink co-workers flirt all of the time and it all seems pretty harmless.

I feel male friends--ok--nothing wrong with that--but you know THOSE chat rooms!! NO WAY!

Funny, in the beginning of mine and Joe's relationship he had been friends with a girl for years. I had treid to become friends with her untill she kept "interfering " with our relationship. Like turning up everywhere we were ....[was she tailing us??] She'd call Joe all of the time. I had a really difficult time with it. What really put the clincher on it was when Joe's mother and sister told me "she's really in love with him you know--always has been."
Needless to say, it was me or her. Thankfully, he choose me. I'd really tried to make a go of it but in THAT case, there could be no continuing friendship between them. Now I can't say being friends with her was cheating on me--it was just making my life a living hell!!! Big Furios

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nuccia
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 8:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You should have just rented the chain saw from Home Depot and it would have taken care of the problem!! Dancing Dancing

I had the same problem with a friend of Lous...who made my life miserable for 4 years until one day she out and out hit me! Well, I had been so good up until that point and I just lost it. I knocked the s**t out of her and charged her with assault. She countercharged and it cost us a lot of money in peace bonds and lawyers.

But she never came near us again... Dancing Dancing so it was worth it. Of course, I don't think she believed I would actualy fought back and I'm sure she felt that for weeks.

God, the good old days!!! Angel

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